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Secondly of course is that the profile gives me some feeling that there could be chemistry. Part of me thinks that they’re just so overwhelmed with messages from so many guys that they just pick the few that strike them as the “best” and just ignore the rest. It’s weird to me because if I didn’t normally have girls asking me out in real life, or showing that they are attracted to me, I’d probably start to develop a complex or something.
Maybe I’m just not really portraying myself very well in my profile or something. RD: Do you think the algorithm and the other tools the dating sites offer help at all? I mean, I like the fact that you can IM with people when they’re online if you want, but as far as the “matching algorithm” goes, I don’t think it really works very well.
That was one of the main reasons I called it quits.
It made me SO uncomfortable that guys so much older than me, older than most of my siblings (all of which are 8 years plus older than me), were sending me messages telling me that I was “hot”.
To get some insight into what women go through on these dating websites, I pulled aside one of my family members who I knew had spent some time on these sites looking for her future spouse.
By the time of this interview, she had already given up and moved on, finally discovering her future husband while visiting old friends at her alma mater. Ryan (RD): What year did you sign up with an online dating website and how long did you keep your account? RD: What were the majority of messages that you received from guys like? I got some commenting on my picture telling me how “hot” I was…how “good” I looked.
I am getting terribly uncomfortable just thinking about it.
RD: Did you get ANY messages from guys that seemed nice at all? AW: No, but the creepy messages most likely ruined it for any decent guys that might be around.
It’s far too complex, scary and difficult for mere mortals – so let’s bridge the gap by asking both men and women what doesn’t work when it comes to online dating.
What I learned from carrying out an interview of a female and the interview of a male trying to dig into this intriguing subject was that using the Internet for dating is equally painful for men and for women, but for very different reasons.
Ironically enough, if you could take the best of those women and the best of those men, and place them in a big room where they could sit at a table and ask each other questions in person – you’d probably have 4 or 5 new match-ups by the end of the night. All they have to do is get online every day, sitting on their princess throne and file through the dozens or more profiles of men who have messaged them throughout the day.
You are a little more than collateral damage, as the large majority of guys slather, drool and stomp their way through the crowds, scaring off most of the nice girls that arrive on these sites, as evidenced by the interview above.
This experience is best exemplified by my close friend who I will call Eric.
Those messages made me run far, far away from online dating.